The first in what we hope will be many reminiscences from John, a lifelong club member in South Yorkshire.
An Inconvenient Truth
The "Club" decided to join the twentieth century by purchasing a new, state of the art bandit. At great cost we ushered in the age of electronic gambling. Gone was the old tic-tac-toe machine. For us now coloured lights and sounds helped us to part with our money. Sixpences became obsolete as this new addition would accept any coinage you were prepared to feed in.
It was a great success as members happily played in the hope of winning that elusive jackpot and, so long as this continued, the committee felt justified in the purchase. But, as with the world, events would take their course, as they did on that fateful night.
Saturday night, Mr and Mrs X arrive for their weekly bout of drinking and gambling. The routine that had never altered was that Mrs X would always enter first, find a suitable seat (usually the one they have sat in for forty years) and await her husband who would join her some five minutes later.
Only this Saturday things would be different. Mr X enters the club but various members comment on the fact that Mr X "doesn't look at all well". He manages to make his way to the first table, where a very intense game of solo was in progress, gives a sigh, and drops to the floor as dead as a Dodo.
The card school obviously make comments, but the fact that a misère had just been called tended to keep this tragedy to a minimum. (Dead people can adversely affect the outcome of a card game).
Panic sets in as Mrs X becomes hysterical. The card players carry on playing. But what no-one actually realised was that poor Mr X had inconveniently died right in front of the bandit. (Remember the bandit?)
An ambulance was sent for and people tried to console Mrs X.
At this point enter our president, known affectionately as "El Presidenta". He quickly assesses the situation, no comment on the distressed Mrs X or the confusion that ensued. But simply looked at the body, looked at the bandit and uttered these immortal words -
"This is no good, people can't get ta bandit!"..
Added note by Geoff - Ruth's right-hand man and web fella. The contributor, who has a wonderful way of telling stories, wishes to remain anonymous at the moment. Every effort, including bribery and threats of violence, is being employed to make him change his mind and claim the credit he deserves.
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